The main goal of the analytic philosophy of language is to prove that all words secretly refer to Venus.
— Curl of Gradient (@CurlOfGradient) March 16, 2016
From The Onion:
VATICAN CITY — Hurrying outside after hearing a disturbingly loud thud against the side of the church, Pope Francis was reportedly left to clean up the remains of a dead angel Monday that flew straight into one of the Sistine Chapel’s windows. “It’s really sad; it seems like one of these guys crashes into a window at least once a week,” said the pontiff, who appeared visibly distressed while sweeping up the feathers scattered around the angel’s lifeless body. “Most of the time, their necks break and they die instantly, but once in a while they’re still twitching a bit. That’s when I find it’s best to put them out of their misery with a shovel.”
How to tell whether you're a writer: 1) Write something. 2) If it took far too long and you now hate yourself, you're a writer.
— Tom Freeman (@SnoozeInBrief) May 26, 2015